Well, you know how I said that the first post with the Non-Linear Issue #1 was the version that I was going to use if the Kickstarter was successful. Well I decided to do some alterations. So I have this posted up, but I can't get the coloring to work correctly. I know it sounds weird and like I'm an idiot, but there was an error code on blogger, and now the previous post is unreadable unless you highlight it all. UGH! So, I had to copy and paste into another program (not word, my other computer is dead and this one only has wordpad), so now the dialogue isn't formatted correctly. I'll repair it later, but enjoy the new script for what it is and thanks for the patience.
They are as follows: Dialogue between William and Kyle is altered a bit. There are scattered details that flesh the visual aspects of locations and characters more. The entire ending of Kyle and Four's fight is different. It now mixes up the action a bit with Four dodging the explosive blast instead of taking it head on, which makes the ending less like the end of the fight with Synth 3 and makes it seem more plausible that Kyle took a lot less damage.
PAGE ONE (8 panels)
Panel 1. The view is from KYLE’S perspective. He is in DILBANE JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL. He is approaching the gymnasium. His vision is a little blurry around the edges. You can’t see any of KYLE’S body.
1 KYLE (narration box, different from the later narration box, this is a present tense thought box of the non-cybernetic version of the character)
I HAVE TO SEE HER. I’M… PRETTY SURE…
Panel 2. KYLE is looking down. His hands are covered in blood.
1 KYLE (narration box) I’M PRETTY SURE I’M GOING TO DIE.
Panel 3. The panel is black, like KYLE went blind. NO DIALOGUE.
Panel 4. KYLE’S sight is back, but it’s a little blurrier. He is really close to the push bars on the gym’s doors. He is reaching for the door with his blood covered hand.
1 KYLE (narration box) I’M STARTING TO FEEL SLEEPY… I… DAMN IT. COME ON, KYLE. I JUST NEED TO SEE HER… BEFORE I GO…
Panel 5. KYLE is looking at his feet. There’s blood all over the floor, running down his legs
and pooling around his shoes.
1 KYLE (narration box) IS ALL OF THAT ME? HOLY SHIT…
Panel 6. KYLE is pushing the door open. The girls’ gym class is in session. There’s the
teacher and about a dozen girls playing basketball. IRENE is in the middle of the group on
defense. They are where DJHS gym clothes (will include visual reference). NO DIALOGUE.
Panel 7. Everyone looks at KYLE (aka the reader). They look shocked and unsure of what to
do. KYLE’S vision is getting blurrier still, mostly around the edges of the panel.
1 KYLE (narration box) I MADE IT… I CAN’T BELIEVE… IT…
Panel 8. The panel is twisted on its side. KYLE is falling, so the view should reflect that. He
is in mid fall, his legs have given up and his body has fully gone into shock from blood loss.
1 KYLE (narration box) SHIT…
PAGE TWO (4 panels)
Panel 1. The panel is black again. No Dialogue.
Panel 2. KYLE’S vision is back, but only the center is clear, everything else is indecipherable.
He sees IRENE holding him up and crying. She is hysterical. Her face looks like she is scared,
worried and panicked beyond most people typically get. One of her best friends is bleeding to
death in her arms at the age of 13. Tears are streaming down her face. There are people in the
blurry haze standing and watching the scene.
1 KYLE (narration box) I CAN’T HEAR HER. I CAN BARELY SEE. I WISH
SHE LOOKED HAPPIER… BUT… I’M STILL GLAD.
Panel 3. IRENE’S turning her head away while still holding KYLE while he looks up at her.
She is closing her eyes tight. She is hyperventilating from the stress.
1 KYLE I... NEEDED TO SEE YOU. I WANTED TO BE WITH
YOU WHEN THE END CAME.
Panel 4. The panel goes black one final time. KYLE has now died. NO DIALOGUE.
PAGE THREE (1 panel)
TITLE PAGE: The BulletProof Ghost: The Trials of Cybernetic Prototype 005
Side Note: The Narration boxes look different from this point in the story. This portion is being told by KYLE in the future.
Panel 1. CYBERNETIC PROTOTYPE 005 has SYNTHETIC PROTOTYPE 003'S(SYNTH 3) wrist blade an inch from his helmet as if dodging the strike. The panel is tight on PROTOTYPE 005’s upper body. His armor is slightly scratched and scorched.
1 KYLE (narration box, past tense, telling the story from the future)
I KNEW I COULD TAKE HIM. I TOOK THE FIRST TWO SYNTHS OUT LIKE THEY WERE NOTHING. THIS THIS THIRD ONE IS NO DIFFERENT.
PAGE FOUR (4 panels)
Panel 1. PROTOTYPE FIVE is using his boosters to hover above the ground while gliding backwards (he’s leaning backwards). One leg is raised with one of his knees bent. The Boosters and stabilizers on his body/armor are shining blue light. The environment is like a forest with trees sparsely spaced out, but the walls are silver metal with some foliage/moss grow up from the bottom. There is medium height grass covering the ground with sections dug out or burnt due to the current fighting.
1 KYLE (narration box.) MY KINETIC BOOSTERS HAVE COME IN HANDY IN THESE FIGHTS. MY MOVEMENTS ARE FLUID WHILE HOVERING.
Panel 2. PROTOTYPE FIVE is flying toward the panel/reader in a tight shot that shows the SYNTH 3 in pursuit. FIVE is still facing the SYNTH meaning his back is facing the panel..
1 KYLE (narration box) AS WELL AS FLYING. SPEEDS APPROACHING AND ABOVE SOUND. SO SAYS...
Panel 3. WILLIAM is standing with his arms crossed watching the battle from far away.
1 KYLE (narration box) WILLIAM. MY SO CALLED CREATOR. I KNOW BETTER NOW. I KNOW WHAT KIND OF PERSON HE IS NOW, BUT THEN I ONLY SUSPECTED.
Panel 4. SYNTH 3 is striking at PROTOTYPE FIVE with its wrist blade. FIVE is blocking the strike with his wrist blade.
1 KYLE (narration box) MY REFLEXES WERE FAST, BUT I WAS BEING WORN DOWN. I FOUGHT TWO PREVIOUS SYNTHETIC PROTOTYPES FOR WILLIAM'S 'TESTS'. THIS ONE WAS GAINING GROUND DUE TO MY INJURIES.
PAGE FIVE (6 panels)
Panel 1. PROTOTYPE FIVE'S chest section has a break (damage) in his armor. A wound can be seen through the armor. It is bleeding.
1 KYLE (narration box) THE NANITES, MICROSCOPIC MACHINES, IN MY BLOOD STREAM WERE RECONSTRUCTING MY BODY AS I WAS INJURED. THOUGH THEY DRAW OFF MY POWER SOURCE, THE MORE I FIGHT AND BECOME INJURED, THE SLOWER THE NANITES WORK AS MY SOURCE IS DRAINED.
Panel 2. Same angle, but the wound is partially healed.
1 KYLE (narration box) THE SOURCE IS RENEWABLE, BUT ONLY IF I CAN REST. ONCE IGNITED, MY SOURCE LASTS FOREVER.
Panel 3. This panel is a side view of the two fighting; still in the strength contest of wrist blades.
1 KYLE (narration box) IT KNEW I WAS WEAK. IT KNEW IF IT COULD BREAK THE BLOCK AND THROW ME TO THE GROUND; THE FIGHT WOULD HAVE BEEN DONE. I WOULD THEN BE KILLED. IF I WERE STUPID ENOUGH TO HAVE KEPT FIGHTING HIM.
Panel 4. Close up on PROTOTYPE FIVE blocking the strike still.
1 KYLE (narration box) I'M NOT…
Panel 5. FIVE'S energy blaster pops out of the side of his forearm. Blue light can be seen from the inside of the barrel.
1 KYLE (narration box) ...STUPID.
Panel 6. The SYNTH'S head is taken off of its body by the kinetic blast. The blue blast has already carried the ripped off head about ten feet into the air in an arcing path. FIVE looks a little off balance due to the blast (like he’s being pushed back). NO DIALOGUE.
PAGE SIX (5 panels)
Panel 1. FIVE is walking away with the smoking, falling, headless body of SYNTH THREE in the background. The headless body to leaning to the side as it falls.
1 FIVE: HOW’S THAT?
Panel 2. WILLIAM is standing with his hands behind his back walking toward FIVE.
1 WILLIAM: EXCEPTIONAL. BETTER THAN THE OTHERS.
Panel 3. Close-up on WILLIAM’S black eyes.
1 WILLIAM: THE OTHERS FAILED.
Panel 4. WILLIAM is turned toward a door in the background. FIVE is walking next to him.
1 WILLIAM: ONE MORE TEST AND THEN YOUR REAL TRAINING WILL BEGIN.
Panel 5. Close-up on FIVE’S helmet.
1 FIVE: SO YOU’VE SHOWN ME THE BASICS OF MY NEW POWERS... ERR ABILITIES... BUT I'M A LOT OLDER THAN WHEN I... WELL... YOU KNOW
PAGE SEVEN (3 panels)
Panel 1. Side view of William with FIVE next to him. WILLIAM towers over FIVE at about 7 feet tall.
1 WILLIAM: DIED? I'M ALSO ASSUMING YOU'RE WONDERING HOW I HAVE ALL OF THIS ADVANCED TECH? MY PEOPLE LIVED ON AN ISLAND CONTINENT FIVE HUNDRED YEARS AGO. OUR TECHNOLOGY WAS MORE ADVANCED THAN YOUR PEOPLE’S TECHNOLOGY AT THIS MOMENT, A THOUSAND YEARS AGO. I’VE USED THIS TECHNOLOGY TO STAY YOUNG. THE SAME NANITES THAT HEAL YOUR WOUNDS AND KEEP YOUR SYNTHETIC SYSTEMS IN SYNCH WITH YOUR ORGANIC ARE THE SAME ONES IN MY BLOODSTREAM. I USED A DIFFERENT PROCESS TO ACCELERATE YOUR NATURAL AGING TO THE POINT WHERE YOU AGED TWELVE YEARS PHYSICALLY IN TWO ACTUAL YEARS. THERE WERE OTHER PROCEDURES THAT I USED TO BRING YOU BACK TO LIFE AND TURN YOU INTO MY FIFTH CYBERNETIC PROTOTYPE… WE DON’T HAVE TIME FOR ME TO GO INTO DETAIL, BUT THAT’S WHERE YOUR 3 YEARS WENT.
2 FIVE: THEN WHERE IS THE EVIDENCE OF THIS CIVILIZATION? I WASN’T GREAT AT HISTORY, BUT I THINK I WOULD HAVE REMEMBERED SOMETHING ABOUT THAT.
Panel 2. The two are traveling down the hall to another room. WILLIAM is walking with his hands behind his back (his touchpad is in one of his hands, but you can't see it). The hall is silver metal, but with white lit up power strips/conduits on the walls, ceiling and floor. The angle of the panel is from the front with both characters in frame.PROTOTYPE FIVE is hovering above the floor like he is testing out his kinetic boosters.
1 WILLIAM: WE WERE ISOLATIONISTS. WE WERE AFRAID OF THE PRIMITIVE OUTERWORLD. THE CONTINENT IN THE PACIFIC OCEAN WAS A FOURTH OF THE SIZE OF AUSTRALIA. STOP PLAYING WITH YOUR KINETIC BOOSTERS!
Panel 3. Close-up on WILLIAM.
1 WILLIAM: A VIRUS SWEPT THROUGH MY HOME. IT KILLED MOST OF THE POPULATION WHILST I WORKED ON A CURE. BY THE TIME I CAME OUT OF MY LAB, ALL WERE DEAD OR TOO FAR ALONG TO SAVE. I WAS SAVED BY STAYING IN MY LAB FOR WEEKS ON END.
PAGE EIGHT (2 panels)
Panel 1. A view of Biodisia can be seen from above in a flashback like panel. The island has some sparsely spaced towns here and there. The structures look ancient in design, but with futuristic materials. Further definition needed.
1 FIVE: WHERE IS THE ISLAND NOW?
2 WILLIAM: I DISINTEGRATED IT FIVE HUNDRED YEARS AGO WITH A STRAIN OF NANITES. I SIMULTANEOUSLY WORKED ON A MOBILE ARTIFICIAL ISLAND COMPLEX IN THE ANTARCTIC WHERE WE ARE NOW. I BUILT A HOVER TRANSPORT TO GO IN BETWEEN THE TWO LOCATIONS.
Panel 2. Biodisia is about half the size it was, having been slowly pulled apart by the nanites. This process took decades, so the island should have the lower half missing, but looking like it’s a gradual process.
1 WILLIAM: I USED THE LAST BATCH OF NANITES TO DISINTEGRATE WHERE MY HOUSE WAS AS I LEFT FOR MY NEW HOME. A MASKING DEVICE RENDERS ME INVISIBLE TO THE REST OF THE WORLD. THE ABILITY TO MOVE THE ISLAND COMES IN HANDY AS WELL. ALL EVIDENCE OF BIODISIA IS EITHER PULLED APART AT THE MOLECULAR LEVEL OR AT THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN.
PAGE NINE (4 panels)
Panel 1. FIVE and WILLIAM are walking through the doors into the new room. The view is from the side facing FIVE. NO DIALOGUE.
Panel 2. FOUR in the middle of the room with WILLIAM and FIVE approaching him. The view is from above. FOUR’S kinetic panels are not lit up yet. The room has a glacier-esque environment in the same vein as the forest environment of the other room. The bottom is covered in ice, but the walls are metal with ice climbing its way up about five feet.
1 WILLIAM: THIS IS YOUR FINAL TEST.
2 FIVE: ANOTHER SYNTH? WHAT IS THIS THE FOURTH ONE?
Panel 3. Close-up on FOUR’S helmet. His eye lenses are lit up.
1 WILLIAM: PROTOTYPE 004. KILL CYBERNETIC PROTOTYPE 005.
Panel 4. FOUR’S stabilizers and boosters are lit up blue as he rushes forward, flying just above the ground. NO DIALOGUE.
PAGE TEN (4 panels)
Panel 1. The view is from above. WILLIAM is walking backward to avoid getting caught in the middle. FIVE is on guard with his wrist blade extended.
1 KYLE (narration box) I HAD A LITTLE REST AT THIS POINT, BUT I WAS STILL AT BIT OF A DISADVANTAGE. NOT TO MENTION THE MORE SEVERE DAMAGE TO MY SYNTHETIC SYSTEMS HAD TO BE REPAIRED MANUALLY.
Panel 2. FOUR’S wrist blades are extended at this point and swiping at FIVE with his left hand. FIVE is dodging backward to avoid the attack.
1 KYLE (narration box) I BEGAN TO REALIZE THAT THIS SYNTH WAS SMARTER THAN THE OTHERS. HE HAD NO PATTERN TO HIS ATTACKS AND MOVEMENT.
Panel 3. FIVE is punching FOUR with his right hand (organic) in the chest. FOUR is falling back with the blow. NO DIALOGUE.
Panel 4. FIVE is flying up into the air with his boosters and stabilizers lit up. FIVE has his energy blaster raised up and is aiming it at FOUR.
1 KYLE(narration box) I NEEDED TO GAIN AN ADVANTAGE AND QUICK. TAKING TO THE AIR SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME.
PAGE ELEVEN (3 panels)
Panel 1. FIVE is firing a blue kinetic blast (which looks like ball of blue light, think photon torpedoes in Star Trek); the view is from the side with the light illuminating things around FIVE.
1 KYLE (narration box) KINETIC BLAST.
Panel 2. FOUR is dodging the blast with the blast sparking up the floor as it hits.
1 KYLE (narration box) I MISSED. OF COURSE.
Panel 3. FIVE is blocking a swipe FOUR had made at his head with his own wrist blade. Sparks fly as the two blades meet, but not from the metal. The two blades are surrounded in a kinetic field (kinetic energy is the energy of motion, so a force is emanated out from the blades when they are lit up blue). The two are suspended in mid air. NO DIALOGUE.
PAGE TWELVE (5 panels)
Panel 1. Close-up on FIVE’s right hand grabbing FOUR’s left hand.
1 KYLE (narration box) I WASN’T GIVING UP.
Panel 2. FIVE pulls FOUR into to head butt his helmet. This dents both helmets and cracks FOUR’S left eye piece. NO DIALOGUE
Panel 3. FIVE turns off his boosters and is below FOUR. The view is from the side. FIVE is aiming his energy blaster. NO DIALOGUE
Panel 4. FOUR has both of his hands held up. Two energy blasters have popped up out of the top of his wrists. They are both firing red energy blasts.
1 KYLE (narration box) HEAT BLASTS. THEY TAKE A BIT OF TIME TO CHARGE UP, BUT IF I GAVE IT LONG ENOUGH… IT’LL BUILD UP ENOUGH POWER TO MELT A HOLE RIGHT THROUGH ME.
Panel 5. FIVE is taking a heat blast in the shoulder, while dodging the other one. The section
that’s hit is melted somewhat, like the blast heated up the surface, but couldn’t pierce all of the
way through.
1 KYLE WHOA! I NEED TO END THIS…
PAGE THIRTEEN (2 panels)
Panel 1. The angle is so KYLE’S blaster is facing into the panel. Orange light is coming out of the blaster. FIVE is using his right arm to stabilize his blasting arm.
1 KYLE (narration box) I WAS GOING TO DESTROY IT. I WOULDN’T LET IT KILL ME AFTER I WAS BROUGHT BACK. I WASN’T GOING TO DIE AGAIN.
Panel 2. The view is from behind FOUR. FOUR is crossing his arms to block the blast he couldn’t avoid. An orange energy explosion is pushing him back with FIVE still aiming at him in the background. NO DIALOGUE.
PAGE FOURTEEN (2 panels)
Panel 1. FIVE is on the ground now looking up at the damaged FOUR. FOUR is in the distance, but is smoking from the previous attack. FOUR’S armor is damaged. The stabilizer panels on his left shoulder and right arm are cracked, but still glowing and at least partially operational. FOUR is on one knee as he lands.
1 KYLE (narration box) I KNEW THAT THESE LOW LEVEL EXPLOSIVE BLASTS WEREN’T GOING TO GET THE JOB DONE.
Panel 2. FOUR lands on his feet. The view is from the front with a closer look at the damage he took from the explosive blast. There are some scorched sections and dents on top of the cracked panels and eye lens.
1 KYLE (narration box) ALL OR NOTHING.
PAGE FIFTEEN (2 panels)
Panel 1. Close-up on FIVE’S blaster with an orange glow coming out of it If you haven’t noticed each type of energy blast has a unique color. NO DIALOGUE.
Panel 2. FIVE and FOUR are running at each other. The view is from the side. FIVE has his bladed hand up in the defense position. FOUR’S hands are behind him as he sprints. FOUR’S wrist blades are fully extended.
1 KYLE(narration box) I KNEW THAT THIS WAS RECKLESS. THAT I SHOULD HAVE TRIED TO KEEP MY DISTANCE, BUT I NEEDED FOUR TO NOT BE EXPECTING MY NEXT MOVE. KEEP HIM GUESSING.
PAGE SIXTEEN (3 panels)
Panel 1. FOUR is throwing an overhead downward arching roundhouse while FIVE ducks it. NO DIALOGUE.
Panel 2. FIVE is kicking FOUR’S ankles out from under him. NO DIALOGUE.
Panel 3. FOUR brings his wrist blades down to the ground to try to impale FIVE. FOUR’S right wrist blade punctures FIVE’S left shoulder. Blood is coming out of the wound. The right hand (KYLE’S left) is being held at the wrist to keep the blade from stabbing FIVE’S face. There is a scratch down the front of the mask ending at the tip of the blade. NO DIALOGUE.
PAGE SEVENTEEN (2 panels)
Panel 1. The view is from the side. The situation is the same as before, except that FIVE’S other hand has his wrist blade retracted and the blaster extended. The energy blaster is pointed at FOUR’S head.
1 KYLE (narration box) HE NEEDED TO THINK HE WAS WINNING. THAT HE WAS GOING TO KILL ME WITHOUT A DOUBT.
Panel 2. FOUR is moving to the side dodging FIVE's blast. The blade that had punctured FIVE'S shoulder is being pulled out. An arc of blood is trailing out of the wound.
1 KYLE (narration box) DAMN IT HE'S FAST!
Panel 3. FOUR is pulling his left hand back to stab FIVE one final time.
1 KYLE (narration box) THIS IS MY LAST CHANCE.
Panel 4. Close up on FIVE'S mask. His eye lenses are lit up orange instead of blue.
1 KYLE (narration box) I JUST HOPE THIS DOESN'T KILL US BOTH. DETONATE!
Panel 5. The view is from the side, only the two's silhouettes are showing through the orange light explosion eminating from behind FOUR. FOUR is slightly turned towards the blast while straddling FIVE. Like he realized what was going on at the exact moment of the detonation.
PAGE EIGHTEEN (3 panels)
Panel 1. FIVE is on his back smoking, but sitting up slightly. Ice chunks are falling all around and the ground is melted and cracked around FIVE. FIVE'S mask is charred and dented; one half of one of the lenses is missing. FIVE'S white, pupil-less eye can be seen through the hole. FOUR is lying on top of FIVE. FOUR'S face is resting on FIVE's shoulder. Just from FOUR'S back, you can tell that FOUR took 85% of the blast, basically acting as FIVE'S shield. NO DIALOGUE.
Panel 2. FIVE is pushing FOUR off of the top of him. FIVE is not looking at FOUR. He doesn't notice the missing lense in his helmet yet. The reader cannot see the front of FOUR'S mask.
1 KYLE GET OFF ME, ROBO-JERK.
Panel 3. FIVE is getting up. He is on one knee and is using his fist to prop himself up. Some of the mesh from his right arm has become disconnected from the armor and is hanging freely (this is also true for his helmet). This exposes portions of his organic arm. FIVE’S right eye lens is cracked as well as some of his stabilizer circles/panels. His is scorched and looks to have trouble forcing himself to his feet.
Panel 4. FIVE is removing his helmet while standing up. The parts of the mesh are hanging off of the mask, these portions do not retract into the mask. The undamaged portions are pulling themselves into the mask (molecular compression is the term). This exposes parts of FIVE/KYLE'S head. His skin is pale and cybernetic components are attached to parts of his face.
Panel 5. KYLE/FIVE is dropping his mask and looking slightly into the distance (not directly at the reader). He has blood tricking out of the corner of his mouth and out of his left nostril.
1 KYLE WELL THIS IS TRASHED.
PAGE NINETEEN (2 panels)
Panel 1. FIVE is on his feet walking toward FOUR’S body. FIVE’S wrist blade is not extended. What can be seen of FOUR is far worse than FIVE’S damage. None of his kinetic panels are lit up, most are cracked. Parts of his armor are littered around his body. None of his skin is exposed to keep the surprise of the last panel. NO DIALOGUE.
Panel 2. FIVE has his wrist blade extended. The panel shows the front of FIVE’S armor from the waist up. FIVE’S left arm is bent so the wrist blade is in view.
1 KYLE (narration box) THAT’S WHEN I NOTICED IT. THAT’S WHEN I NOTICED ITS EYE LENS WAS SHATTERED IN THE BLAST.
PAGE TWENTY (1 panel)
Panel 1. Close-up on FOUR’S mask. A human eye could be seen through the lens looking at FIVE.
1 KYLE (narration box) THERE WAS A MAN INSIDE THERE. HE WASN’T A SYNTHETIC PROTOTYPE. HE WAS LIKE ME.
End of Issue
